10 Comments
Aug 10, 2022Liked by Andie

Thank you for this perspective on Demeter! I found your blog so helpful in finding my own identity as a parent of small children, so I’m glad to see you tackling teenagers as it’s certainly a period of all kinds of letting go. You seemed to advocate for not holding on too tightly in the first place when children are small, so I look forward to reading more of your writing.

I regularly go back to this poem by Irish poet Eavan Boland on the same theme:

The Pomegranate

The only legend I have ever loved is

the story of a daughter lost in hell.

And found and rescued there.

Love and blackmail are the gist of it.

Ceres and Persephone the names.

And the best thing about the legend is

I can enter it anywhere. And have.

As a child in exile in

a city of fogs and strange consonants,

I read it first and at first I was

an exiled child in the crackling dusk of

the underworld, the stars blighted. Later

I walked out in a summer twilight

searching for my daughter at bed-time.

When she came running I was ready

to make any bargain to keep her.

I carried her back past whitebeams

and wasps and honey-scented buddleias.

But I was Ceres then and I knew

winter was in store for every leaf

on every tree on that road.

Was inescapable for each one we passed. And for me.

It is winter

and the stars are hidden.

I climb the stairs and stand where I can see

my child asleep beside her teen magazines,

her can of Coke, her plate of uncut fruit.

The pomegranate! How did I forget it?

She could have come home and been safe

and ended the story and all

our heart-broken searching but she reached

out a hand and plucked a pomegranate.

She put out her hand and pulled down

the French sound for apple and

the noise of stone and the proof

that even in the place of death,

at the heart of legend, in the midst

of rocks full of unshed tears

ready to be diamonds by the time

the story was told, a child can be

hungry. I could warn her. There is still a chance.

The rain is cold. The road is flint-coloured.

The suburb has cars and cable television.

The veiled stars are above ground.

It is another world. But what else

can a mother give her daughter but such

beautiful rifts in time?

If I defer the grief I will diminish the gift.

The legend will be hers as well as mine.

She will enter it. As I have.

She will wake up. She will hold

the papery flushed skin in her hand.

And to her lips. I will say nothing.

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Thanks also for the long-time reading and the reflection on my early years of parenting.. I really enjoyed the observation that I have always been trying to not hold on too tightly.

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Wow! Thank you for sharing the poem - it's perfect. This bit is amazing..

"The pomegranate! How did I forget it?

She could have come home and been safe

and ended the story and all

our heart-broken searching but she reached

out a hand and plucked a pomegranate".

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Yes, seconding this comment! Andie, you speak of feminist mother writer heroes, and you are mine! Reading notes from your journey through teen parenting is a little scary and a lot moving and hopeful for me. And that poem was a fave of mine in uni but hits so differently now that I am a mother. Thanks for the reminder of it Lina ❤️

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I couldn't even breathe I was crying so hard through the last 45 minutes of Everything, Everywhere. It's a miracle I still have operational tear ducts.

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Oh yes, me too! Exhausted from silent, perfectly still sobbing.

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Aug 10, 2022Liked by Andie

Yes to all of this. I loved Everything Everywhere All at Once but I am glad I didn't see it with either of my kids. It was just so much and left both me and Himself feeling rather introspective.

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It is a lovely argument by the end for pushing through the messy work to genuine, albeit imperfect, connection.

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I've always been fortunate to have a poor imagination, which is good for not worrying TOO much about one's children. My daughter is now 15 so fingers crossed she finds a good balance between getting out in the world and staying safe.

We saw EEAAO together (with family) and loved it so much. Now that youngest has turned 13 I hope they'll watch it too. 13 year old is being very grumpy and distant lately, and its HARD!

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Seventeen!!

Thank you for sharing the link to the interview with Tedra Osell. My thoughts on raw writing are still too raw (confused) to write.

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