My son is 16 now. I've been having open conversations with him about this since he was probably 12. For whatever reason; being a teenage mum, single mum, ADHD, we are more like mates and I think that's enabled the conversation. We talked a lot about how the sex is often performative sex and don't expect sex in real life is going to be like that. I did give him tips on particular categories that might be less full on. He tells me when I'm going too far with what I'm saying. I also talked to him about being careful of how much he's consuming. I framed it up about using it in moderation like anything else. Weed for instance!
Thanks so much for your writing Andie. It always feels like a treat.
A beautiful post. I am honestly hoping for the best but know he(12) will see it soon. We have had conversations about ethics and our bodies and what we see is not always ethical and right.
I'm trying to be a person he can come to with questions and to encourage him to think ethically. I'm also trying to believe he'll stick to playing Worldle...
I hoped for the best and answer questions if asked. I really like your point about the actors being athletes. I think it could be worth mentioning to look out for how the actors are behaving. Does it look fake, does it look like one is showing off for the camera and doesn't care what their partner is feeling or do they both seem to be enjoying themselves? It's really difficult to find a path that doesn't look like kink shaming though. I think if your kids know they can talk to you if they see something that bothers them you're doing okay and I think that's where you are.
My son is 16 now. I've been having open conversations with him about this since he was probably 12. For whatever reason; being a teenage mum, single mum, ADHD, we are more like mates and I think that's enabled the conversation. We talked a lot about how the sex is often performative sex and don't expect sex in real life is going to be like that. I did give him tips on particular categories that might be less full on. He tells me when I'm going too far with what I'm saying. I also talked to him about being careful of how much he's consuming. I framed it up about using it in moderation like anything else. Weed for instance!
Thanks so much for your writing Andie. It always feels like a treat.
This is a wonderful answer, thank you for sharing the wisdom. And thank you for the lovely comment.
A beautiful post. I am honestly hoping for the best but know he(12) will see it soon. We have had conversations about ethics and our bodies and what we see is not always ethical and right.
Thank you for the solidarity as another mother of a son.
You are such a beautiful writer, Andie.
Thank you so much.
I'm trying to be a person he can come to with questions and to encourage him to think ethically. I'm also trying to believe he'll stick to playing Worldle...
I am sure it is all Wordle all the time.
I hoped for the best and answer questions if asked. I really like your point about the actors being athletes. I think it could be worth mentioning to look out for how the actors are behaving. Does it look fake, does it look like one is showing off for the camera and doesn't care what their partner is feeling or do they both seem to be enjoying themselves? It's really difficult to find a path that doesn't look like kink shaming though. I think if your kids know they can talk to you if they see something that bothers them you're doing okay and I think that's where you are.
This is kind of the conclusion I came to too. Talk to me if something bothers you and otherwise I am out of the way now.