Sobremesa

The conversation you have together at the table after the meal

Dear Reader

We host a Christmas Eve dinner every year and it is always my favourite meal of the holidays. It’s a little bit beautiful and a little bit messy. What I love about it is the sobremesa. So, here is my advice for a dinner party. Don’t clean up too fast.

This newsletter is dedicated to sharing advice on how to enjoy Christmas..

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A Poem for Christmas

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- Robert Lax

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Repeat ritual

I learned to find equal meaning in the repeated rituals of domestic life. Setting the table. Lighting the candles. Building the fire. Cooking. All those souffles, all that creme caramel.. These fragments I have shored against my ruins, were the words that came to mind then. These fragments mattered to me. I believed in them.. I could find meaning in the intensely personal nature of life.

- Joan Didion

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Decorate

My favourite bit of Amanda Brooks’ “taste feels totally assured” Christmas in the Cotswolds decorating is how she does that little casual garden set-up.

‘I mean, it sounds ridiculous,’ she says. ‘But just to be in the perfect expression of your taste and style is very satisfying.’

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Watch the Very Best Christmas Film There Is

Moonstruck, and here is why.. in one of my previous newsletters.

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Try to Spend Less

But also, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t manage it.

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Gift

I love this gift wrapping from Maison Flâneur.

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Get Some Sleep

Perimenopausal insomnia? Try the Shipping Forecast.

(Incidentally, the artist behind this is from Hastings - that witchy place where my grandmother was from).

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Have a Clean Up

Be amusing to your teenagers.

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Forgive Yourself

Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.

- Sylvia Plath

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Run About and Plan

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Argue With Your Husband

Terry Real on normal marital hatred.

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Love Your Husband and Others

What I Want is Family
Everyone come over, get closer, be casual, stay late and talk about things that matter, laugh and roll around in ideas, silly jokes repeated, kids barefoot, messy, nothing perfect. Be dramatic or quiet, eat and cook, dance and sleep. Do it every day or once a week. Rely on this place and these people, rely on this warmth. Be familiar with each other, shared stories, depth or levity, just together under out roof, our stars, our sense of connection relentless and satisfying. Jacqueline Suskin

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Get a Good Playlist

“The 9 Albums and Songs to Save if You Care About How a Space Feels” by Ru Kotryna at A Topography of Taste.

Invisible architecture, as she says.

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Make it Simple

If you are prone to getting overwhelmed, make simple delicious things to eat that look pretty. The prettiness is important, so, that’s the bit to pay attention to.

Can’t cook and need to take a plate of canapes? Here’s Greek Feta and Cucumber Skewers from Chef Zouheir.

Need to bring a dip? I love hommus, but I also enjoy a change, so why not this Cannellini Bean Dip from Manuela Donatone. Or this Ricotta with Crushed Olives, Almonds and Lemon dip by Liv Kaplan - I have had a lot of success with this one.

Have to make a simple salad look fancy? This Watermelon Salad by Sofia Misabishvili.

Want to bring a plate that will be loved on the table, but which won’t overwhelm you to make? Sicilian Potato Salad by Francesco Mattana.

Ok, so you live in a cold climate¹, and you want to bring a hot dish instead? This Cheesy Cabbage and French Onion Gratin by Sebastian Graus. And you can make it ahead of the day, so you won’t be overwhelmed at the time.

Something to impress on the table? (Or even a cheap gift if put into a little jar). Rosemary salt by Lindsay Ostrom.

Bringing a sweet plate instead? Pine Cone Brownies by Lanina.

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Have Christmas Lunch in the Heat

Try this.

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Mix

John Waters in W Magazine on how to have a good party. I love this advice!

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Give Some Side Eye

Dinner with the extended family.

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Love Everyone Through the Irritating

Alexandra Auder’s newsletter - When Your Mom Thinks She Can Read the Dog’s Mind.

Imagine if your dog’s consciousness was channeled through the body and voice of your mother. Apparently our dog is living in the 3rd circle of Dante’s Inferno, but spends his weekends on the 9th circle.

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Enjoy

Christmas can be for everyone; it’s a celebration full of witchcraft and that craft is yours:

Wreaths are just protection spells and a reminder that the darkness is followed by the light.

Garlands above the door or trees in the house are protection spells.

Candles in windows are protection spells. (Unwanted spirits cannot cross the threshold).

Ringing a bell is a protection spell. (If anything is lurking inside, this house is awake).

The smell of something simmering on the stove is also… a protection spell.

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Care

Jason Reynolds on burden as prayer.

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As Always, Read a Book

Here’s Helen Garner talking to David Marr on ABC National Radio about Erin Patterson’s trial (mushroom killer) and a lifetime of keeping diaries. I just finished reading The Mushroom Tapes and it was so enjoyable.

I also just read Lily King’s Heart the Lover and enjoyed being inside that character’s head for a while. So, there’s another book recommendation.

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Listen to a Podcast Together

This episode of The Dollop Podcast about Joh Bjelke Petersen is mind-blowing! It is mind-blowing for those who never lived in Queensland. This level of corruption really happened, and isn’t it giving deja-vu vibes for what is currently happening in another country somewhere that won’t be named²? Maybe nice to remember, too, that this era came to an end in Queensland, and therefore, this, too, shall pass in that country that won’t be named.

It is also mind-blowing to listen to as people who have lived in Queensland and who have forgotten over time just how stifling the conservatism used to be here.

But, it will be particularly mind-blowing to your teenagers, who are too young to know that this kind of stuff happened right here. History is best told by comedians.

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Take a Walk

Human connection to nature has declined 60% over the last 200 years. Give yourself a walk.

Walking across England and having tea with strangers: “I think a tea outside is always better”.

Even Liam Gallagher has discovered the inner peace of a good dog walk.

Not finding it particularly relaxing walking in summer in Australia? You’re not the only one.

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Flop with Others

I love this depiction of intimacy by Jennifer Packer.

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Finally

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

- W. B. Yeats

I am wishing you a lovely end to the year. I really hope this happens for you. Thank you for being here.

1. So envious.

2. Is this comment going to be the end of my chances of traveling to a particular country somewhere that won’t be named that is considering introducing new social media searches for entry there?